I bet he comes in French.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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