we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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