I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
