You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize