i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
