I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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