His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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