i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
