Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
