then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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