He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
