You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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