..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
