never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
