During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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