I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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