playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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