you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize