I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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