This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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