you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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