Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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