It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
