Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
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walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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