If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
