dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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