first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
not ubering you a puppy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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