she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
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My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize