So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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