i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
