I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You may now shotgun with the bride
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
