I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize