I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
