But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
