Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
