you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
