The maid of honor just puked.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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