She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
