ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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