Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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