your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
