Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
