The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
