But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
