Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
