Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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