she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
