im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
