Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize