I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
