so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
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I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
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Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death