Porn is love you can see.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
