Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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