My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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