Your dad touched me again.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize