I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
