Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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