I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
