Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the raccoons are back...
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