I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the day after is always just damage control
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
