I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
