i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
